n.e.g.a.t.i.v.e

this entire week is like a roller coaster ride. up and down.

i thought everything seems to be on the track but then along the way, that one sentence, or rather a word makes it all crashed down. it wasnt who i though it was anymore. 

i dont know who to believe in anymore.

this week, when i heard someone mention about that incident, my heart started to beat very fast. i prayed very hard that it wasnt going to end up what i thought it might be. but yes, it was.  all i know was that my eyes were watery and the next moment, i walked out very fast. i couldnt let them all see.

and everything had to happen all at the same time and pull me down.

i felt so damn guilty. my bad. im lousy. im useless. im everything negative.

keep going

Passion Run 2010 @ East Coast Park



marathon event was held last saturday, 22nd May at ECP. 10km race started at 5.20pm. my back pain was killing me when i was jogging. had to stop alot of time and i even wanted to just sit down on the bench cos the pain was really too much. but im glad i didnt, managed to complete it in 1hr 15mins.



but the after effect was real bad. my back couldnt even be straighten properly :((



met the couple for the race. * credits to yanteen for the pictures!



this year's medal seems to be a lil bigger than last year.

my legs started to ache not on sunday but monday, 2 days after the race -.- thanks to those who laugh at the way i walked. but my colleagues/friends were nice enough to help me to pick up stuffs on the floor cos i couldnt really bend down, walked the extra distance to get me stuffs cos i walked too slow -.-

do you know how i felt when you said those stuffs yesterday?
NO. i dont think you know.

always here

Qinke's birthday dinner @ Thai Restaurant at Shaw Tower. (1st one from the right)

thereafter to Ah Chew Desserts for Mango Sago!

nights out with my girls. love how we laughed as if the entire place only belongs to us.


im still not over it yet.

demoralised

it was my passion and now it's still is.
but when all the damn shits start happening to you all at the same time, will it still be my passion?
confidence level dropped to negative %

why is all these things happening?
am i not good enough? am i not putting in enough effort?
am i not being hardworking enough? am i not being responsible enough?

i was on the verge of breaking down at work.
i nearly cried when everything came crashing down on me.
no words can be used to describe how i felt at that moment.
when people starts to question, when they kept asking questions, my mind blanked.

im so disappointed in myself.


define: a good nurse.

it shldnt be like this

IP Man 2 last week.

cant remember which day it is that i watched it. i got short term memory you see. but the movie was way awesome even though we sat at the front row! love how the movie portrays the chinese traditional kungfu and that it shldnt be despise by the others.

and then it was cafe cartel with nice chocolate banana cake :)

waited for NR7 from town for 40mins just cos i wanted to save on the midnight cab fare. and i looked kinda dumb sitting at the bus stop waiting for the bus and at the same time trying not to fall asleep.

think last week was work and work only. occupancy rate for these few days are damn high. can hit 104/105%. meaning to say the entire hospital has no more available beds but there are still 30/40 over patients waiting at the A&E for beds. very bad.

totally drained.

drink drank drunk

wednesday night = ladies night

ladies night = long queue + booze & dancing the night away.

the mood for yesterday night was pretty bad though. had no mood and maybe thats why i kept on drinking. though the liquor tasted horrible but that was what that could keep my thoughts away for a moment.

got myself home at wee hours. woke up with bruises at my knee and my arms sore.

thats the after effect.

i dont care what others say. some may think that a girl shldnt get herself drunk in the middle of then night and thats not proper. but if i say im okay, i mean it.

drink. drank. drunk.

the bonds

celebrated Sheena's 22nd at Suntec KushinBo. dinner was awesome! the snow crabs legs was finger licking :) present from us to her was pull & bear jacket.



love how we talked about everything from work to friends to relationships :)

next up will be Esther's 21st :)